poco a poco

When I started my first Spanish class at the local community college a couple of years back, the first thing our professor taught us was this phrase: poco a poco, se va lejos.  Translated…little by little, one goes far. For me, learning a 2nd language is a source of both big joy and endless frustration. Practicing things on a daily basis is sometimes a drag and often it feels like you are going nowhere fast. But in the end Señor Avocado Fountain was right. Daily small steps and consistent practice gets one further than cramming 4 hours the night before the exam.  Sometimes you can even find yourself waiting for your bus…in a drenching rainstorm…in the middle of the jungle…and actually understanding everything that is being said to you in Spanish. It is a magical moment.

Tonight I was writing out my frustrated prayers complaints over the lack of vision I have for my vocational life and I started to think about the situation with my relationship (totally the Holy Spirit). I fell in love when I was in Costa Rica this spring. He and I have continued to stay in touch, I am getting ready to make a 2nd trip down there to see him again and it’s mostly amazing and sweet. Here’s the thing: I have zero idea about where this will end up or how it would ever work out for us to be together. While the circumstances that kept us together while I was down there clearly had heaven’s hand on them, it was complicated in lots of ways that would be a whole other post! Anyway, because it was such upheaval for me, all I could do was put the whole mess in God’s hands. Over and over I prayed…I don’t know what to do with this…here…you take it. If we are to be together then I pray your blessings on us, on this relationship, that you use it to your purpose. Lift us up Lord to a higher place.  If not, then help us just let it go. I still do it, all the time. When my internet phone card disconnects our calls three times in 5 minutes.  When the language differences are getting on someone’s nerves. Whether I am absolutely rolling in happiness or sure this is just a crazy mistake. And you know what? It’s mostly EASY.  I can feel grace all over the whole thing…top to bottom. I trust that God is working something out here, even if I don’t know what.  Day by day…we walk it out. Step by step…little by little…we are building a relationship.

You know, I could do that with this mess I call vocation too.  Pray over and over…here…you take it. Trust more deeply. Quit thinking it’s all on me to sort it out.  Practice everyday…trusting, writing, placing my life in his hands. Yes, yes I could.